Why Am I Here?

Why am I here? This is a question I have often asked myself and I have found myself asking God. I have complete faith that God brings me to the place I need to be, but He does not always show me why I am where I am. Recently, there have been numerous things that have brought me to question this once again. I have been at Bible college now for almost two months, and in that time I have received many a phone call telling me of things that are going on at home. A great deal of these things are issues that I would be helping, or trying to help, if I were home, and being in a place where I am unable to go home and help makes things difficult for me at times. I am very much a person who wants to help, especially when it comes to my friends and family. Knowing that there is nothing I can do to help them hurts me sometimes, and lately has been adding to the strenuous amounts of stress that are already present in my life.

I talked about this with a girl in my program earlier this evening. It seems to both of us that as soon as we left home, things fell apart; every bad thing that could possibly happen, that was on the edge of happening, has happened, and there is nothing either of us can do to help. We both feel torn in this situation. My first instinct is to run home to the aide of those I've lived with for the past eighteen years, but in my heart I know that God brought me here for a reason, and I need to seek that reason above all else. I need to trust Him to take care of the messes at home, and to comfort my family and friends in times of trial. But I also need to rely on Him to take care of me, to keep me from becoming overwhelmed with the stresses of life and the desire to help those I cannot help.

I know in time He will reveal His purposes for bringing me here, and I know that all will work out in the end, regardless of what needs to happen in the mean time. However, I also know that these things are happening in the fashion they are to stretch me and to see me grow. It's time I step away from certain things, and assist in the only way I can; I can be with those back home in prayer and in thought, but aside from that, I am here to do His will. Whether I know directly what that is, or whether I need to follow my heart, checking every so often if I'm walking where He wants me to walk, I do not know as of yet. But I trust that in time, I will know. I do not as of yet know why any of this is happening, but I have found comfort in knowing that there is a purpose behind this all, and that I am not alone in any of this.