In the following week, I suddenly realized just what that meant. I had spent most of my life, the last thirteen years, in school. And now I got to choose what I was going to do. Whether I went back to school, or got a job was up to me. Where and how I was going to live was up to me. They tell you that high school is designed to prepare you for the "Real World". I'm not so sure this works as well as they think it does, because my first though upon realizing that they had thrust me out into the real world was, "Oh snap. What now..?" I felt so completely unprepared for the realization that I'd be moving in six short weeks, to another province to go to college, in a town where I didn't know anyone. And with that realization hitting me on top of all the stress that's been going on in my life, I felt so completely lost that I didn't know what to think.
I've lived in the same little town all my life. The people I hang out with, I've known for several years, even though I'm not terribly good friends with most of them. But it's all familiar. And I'm comfortable with that. I'm not comfortable with all the thoughts that com with the realization that it's time to move on to new things, that it's time for change. My life is about to be turned upside down, I'm sure. I'm going to be sharing a dorm room, I'm going to be put outside of my comfort zone, and I'm going to be forced to make new friends, while keeping in contact with my old friends. I'm going to be stretched to my limits, my world is probably going to be rocked.
Now, I'm going to tell you how I feel about this. I'm not sure how many of you are familiar with the Bible story in which Jesus' disciple Peter, tells Jesus to tell him to come to Him, walking on water. It's a fairly well known story, even to those who are religious, but if you haven't heard it, I encourage you to read it, whether you believe in God or not. It can be found in Matthew 14:22-33. Now, I feel very much like how I imagine Peter felt in this story. I feel like I'm standing in a lifeboat, with people all around me demanding that I prove my worth, my value, and Jesus is walking towards me on the water, telling me that I don't have to prove anything, that other people's opinions of me really mean nothing. I feel like He's holding out Hid hands, waiting for me to find the faith to take His hand, and take that first step out on the water. Now, I do hope that when I take this step of faith, that I won't lose faith like Peter did, and become intimidated by the waves surrounding me, causing me to cry out in panic as I start sinking from lack of faith.
This may or may not make sense to any of you out there, but I've found comfort in my faith in Jesus that no matter what happens, or where life takes me, that things will work out in the end. Because they always do. There are ups and downs along the way, and I'll get bumped and bruised. I'll fall down at times too, but I've got friends that God's given me to help me up, and help me along my path. There are huge changes ahead of me, some close, some still quite far off. Some of them I'm sure I'll be ready for, others I know I won't. But sometimes things need to change, even if it's hard. We all need to grow, so we can eventually become the person we're meant to become. And I think change, as hard as it is, plays a huge role in forming who we are.
The band Silverline says in their song All Consuming Love, "The time for moving on is now; time to make amends; time for youthful sins to die; it's time I learn to stand."
And with that as a final thought, I leave you tonight, to ponder what changes may need to occur in your life, what you may need to walk away from or towards, and when you're time to stand finally comes.
Love always,
IvylynnFaith
