The "Good" Christian

In one of my classes this past week, we've been discussing apologetics, and it's purpose. Yesterday I had to write a paper on the importance of apologetics in our society. This was an interesting process for me, and before coming to Bible college, I hadn't heard much, if anything really, about apologetics. Now before I get too into this, I'm going to explain my understanding of apologetics, because I sat through two lectures before finally asking someone what it was. Apologetics is simply the defense of faith, particularly the Christian faith. Now, in my experience with this, many unbelievers question the purpose of apologetics because, if God is as powerful and all mighty as Christians claim, why would He need the defense of mere humans?

I believe we need to defend Christianity, because we, as humans, screw up and have, on occasion, given God a bad reputation. I've personal experience with this, even recent personal experience. As I said in my last blog, my ex has started talking to me the last few days, and I'm not sure how to handle it. I do want to help him, but I'm unsure of how to go about doing so. I am one of those people who will try so hard to help someone, who usually is beyond their help, that I make myself sick over it. I'm not intentionally like this, but this tends to be how it happens. Well, a few of my friends from college noticed I was starting to get stressed out, I wasn't as smiley, and I was in more of a downer mood in general, so they confronted me about it. I told them I was kind of struggling with how to help this guy, and they decided to take matters into their own hands. Now, these friends are all very nice people, pretty solid Christians, but when it comes to defending their friends, they can get a little nasty. And that's exactly what happened. I don't intend to go into detail with this, but my ex said some pretty nasty and hurtful things in response. The thing that got me the most, however, was him saying, "If that's how Christians treat each other, I'm losing faith in Christianity."

I can take a hit against myself just fine, but go after my beliefs, friends or family, and there's where it starts to bother me. When he said that, I realized just how much the actions of my friends contradicted what we are currently being taught in class. When defending the Christian faith, as it reads in 1 Peter 3:15, "But in your hearts honour Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect." My understanding of this is when we go to defend our faith, we need to do so in a gentle manner, while respecting the person we are addressing. On top of that, I believe we ought to be living our lives in such a manner that mirrors Christ and His love for humanity. Basically, my thoughts today have been those of regret in regards to witnessing the way my friends spoke to my ex. My ex has had a lot of trouble with his walk in faith, and having Christians who are attending Bible college be so blatantly disrespectful and rude is basically a slap in the face in this scenario.

In the moment, my friends weren't thinking of the possible consequences their actions could have, nor were they thinking of how negatively their words could impact one's view of Christ. I find it interesting how we don't tend to think of these things, when these things are what pushes people to that "make-it-or-break it" place in their decision of whether or not to follow Christ. I mean, if that's what Christians are really like; if that's how they treat each other, and other people, what's the good in being a Christian? Why put faith in something that seems so corrupt? Do you see what I mean? I'm not at all bashing Christianity; I'm a follower of Christ. I'm trying to portray my thoughts on how others may view us and our Lord because of our words and actions. I apologize if I'm being repetitive, or if I'm not making a whole lot of sense, I was up most of the night praying for guidance in how to handle this situation, because I'm really at my wit's end here. I apologized to my ex, because I know that what was said was wrong, and that if it distorted his view of God in any way, than an apology needed to be made. I knew my friends weren't about to apologize, because in their eyes, they were defending me, so I took the step to explain to him that what was said was wrong, and I asked that he not judge Christians based on the way my friends treated him.

If you're reading this, and it makes sense to you and you can relate, I hope that you will take into consideration your words and actions, and those of around you. I hope that you'll also take to heart 1 Peter 3:15, and take a gentle, respectful approach to defending Christianity. Aside from taking a respectful approach to the defense of the Gospel, I pray that you'll take a gentle and respectful approach to people in general, especially ones that are sitting on the proverbial fence post of Christianity. Take caution in the words you use, let Christ's unfailing love shine through all you say and do.

Not Superhuman

I've noticed in my life that I tend to be one of those people who tries to save everyone from destroying themselves. I usually fail, too. I suppose this is because I know in my heart that I can't save these people, I can't change them, even if I want to change them for the better. This has been something I've had a hard time with for a long time, and I'm again finding myself not knowing how to deal with this reality. This came up most recently a few days ago, when my ex decided to start texting me about his problems with his current girlfriend, who used to be one of my closest friends.

I never know how to handle things like this, especially when it comes to him. I like to help people, and especially people that have been a part of my life. And whether I like it or not, he was a big part of my life for a year and a half. The fact that we have "history" together, that I used to care so much about him, makes me want to help him better himself. But I know I can't do that. It actually makes me sick sometimes, because I stress so much over things I cannot possibly change. I was starting to let him get to me again, when a friend noticed, and even though it was hard, I'm very grateful that he did notice, otherwise I'd still probably be trying to talk some sense into someone who doesn't truly listen to a word I say. I've had to have friends intervene in situations where I was trying to help people before, and at least a few of those times involved this guy. The biggest issue is when I try to help someone, I don't notice whether or not my efforts are affecting myself, and this time it was affecting me negatively in quite a significant way.

It's times like these when I find I need to take a step back and remind myself that I can't change a person. Only God can. And it's not my job to change a person, it's my job to plant a seed, one which God will tend to and care for. As hard as it is for me to let go, I hate feeling like I'm giving up on someone, there's only so much I can do, and the rest is up to God. And God doesn't work on my time. He works on His time. It may take years for this person to realize the effects of what they've said these last few days. I don't even know if they'll ever come to realize it, but I hope God will continue to work in his life until he does realize the effects of his words and actions, and that one day he'll find the strength in God to want to change for the better. I can help people when God wants me to help people, and I can help those He shows me how to help, but there are people and there will be people, that I cannot help. These are the people I need to lift up to Him. I can encourage these people so long as it doesn't cause damage to myself, but God is the one who works miracles in their lives, not me. I'm not superhuman. I can only do what God wills me to do.

Weaving the Tapestry

The beginning of September usually marks the beginning of a new school year, which tends to be a big deal when you're attending elementary or high school. But what happens after you've finished with those? Well, like many of my fellow high school graduates, I've moved on to attending college. I've been at my college for about two and a half weeks now, and I love it here. The people are amazing, the courses are interesting, and both present questions and views I have never thought of before. Coming here, one of the main questions I've been asked in these last two and a half weeks is, "What brought you here? Why Prairie?"

Well, I've given the point blank answer of, "Well, God brought me here," but people aren't satisfied with that. They want to know who showed me the school, why I chose the program I did, and why this Bible college over others. First things first I guess, I'm here because my best friend showed me a program he thought, or should I say "knew", I'd love. He encouraged me to apply for it, and later, when I was having doubts as to whether or not this was the place God was calling me to, he still encouraged me. I chose a one year intercultural studies program for a few different reasons. 1. I'm not entirely sure what God's got planned for the rest of my life, and I wasn't ready to commit to a four year degree that I wasn't sure I really wanted to do. 2. Intercultural studies fascinates me. I love travelling, and learning about other peoples. 3. It's a Missions' based program, and I have the opportunity to go on a two month Missions' trip to Guatemala. 4. It incorporates Spanish. I love the Spanish language, and Latin American cultures.

I don't think I chose this school, or this program, it found me, and it chose me. I am truly blessed for the year of opportunity that lies ahead of me.

This may explain the outward reasons why I'm here, but it doesn't answer my questions of why I'm here. I don't know what my purpose is, what I'm going to get out of this, where it'll take me, or even if I'll continue on in this field of study. But, if there's something I have learned in the past few weeks, it's that I do have a purpose here, even if I don't know what it is. God's got reasons for bringing every person on this campus here. We may not know how it all fits together, but God does, and that's what matters. He'll show us in due time.

The closest thing to an answer of my questions as to why I'm here lies within a simple statement I've heard twice since I arrived on campus. I'm not sure who said it the first time, but tonight the father of our host family said it, and it made me realize just how import each person here truly is to our community as students, and as Christians. Threads are weak; they snap easily, they can't take a lot of pressure, and there isn't a whole lot of uses for individual pieces of thread. But, if you take these threads, and weave them together, intertwining them with each other, you can create a beautiful, strong tapestry that tells a life changing story. By ourselves, we are weak, we break, we fall down. But together, we can support each other, lift each other up, help each other out. We've all got different skills, and our combined skills work together to make a rich, lively community, full of diversity and love.

I don't know if you'll see this the same way I do, but I believe I'm here to be a part of this tapestry. I've got a story to tell, and so do you, as does everyone surrounding us. If we work together, forming family and fellowship, we can be made into a tapestry of ageless beauty and strength, providing God be at the center of it. God has placed me here, with the people I'm with, to weave our lives together in a tapestry that paints His story, and brings Him the honour and glory due to Him.