I was always one of those kids who had some idea of what they wanted to be when they grew up. When I was in kindergarten, I wanted to be a paleontologist. Most kindergartens can't even say that word. As I got older, my ideas of what I wanted to do with my life changed. One day I wanted to be a teacher, the next I wanted to be a radio DJ. At one point, I wanted to work a minimum wage job in a small town, and then the next moment, I was dreaming of becoming a fashion designer in a big city. So, to say my ideas and dreams were varied, is a slight understatement.
When I reached high school, I suddenly had no idea what I wanted to do. I still had ideas kicking around in my head, but nothing really stood out to me, nothing seemed like what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Part of me wanted to be a writer, another part wanted to be an artist. (I'm creative, yes, but artistic...? Not so much.) High school was when people really started paying attention to how I answered the question, "What are you going to do when you're all grown up?" But, high school was when I didn't know what I wanted to do, and more importantly, what God wanted me to do.
I supposed I figured out what I was meant to do this last summer, and I'll explain what I mean by "meant to do". I was thinking about possibly becoming a youth pastor, which is a bit odd to some people, as I'm a girl. But that's what I was thinking about. I wanted to be able to help people, especially teens. I'd experienced a lot of different and hard things throughout high school, and I wanted to do my best to make sure nobody else went through those same things. But there are so many different ways in which one can help others, and I hadn't even realized some of the options.
The thing I probably write about the most is my missions trip to Mexico summer of 2010. And that would be because it changed me drastically, and the things I learned there still affect me today, and I hope they continue to affect me for the rest of my days here on Earth. I learned a lot in Mexico, about people, about myself and about God. Perhaps one of my biggest discoveries was finding God's path for me. After spending a couple days in Mexico, I didn't want to leave. I felt like God had made a special place in my heart just for Mexico and the people I met there. When I got home (I got to my church just as the Sunday service ended), people were making jokes about when I was going to go back, and I surprised many of them by saying I`d hop on a bus right then and there if I had the money to go back.
God made me different, like Veggie Tales say, God made me special, just as He makes all of us. He makes us all to do different jobs. And the thing He made me to do isn't something that`s widely understood by a lot of people. It`s supported by a fair group, but not truly understood. God made my heart a Missionary's heart. All I want to do is help God's people. I want to love them how He loves them. God gave me the heart and will to go out into the world and do His will.
I will be going to college this August, to do a one year missions-based program, where I'll be doing one semester of book work, and then one semester of working in bible camps and going on a two and a half month missions trip to Guatemala. I couldn't imagine a more perfect college program for me. In fact, when I read the overview of the program before applying, I cried because it felt like God had made this program specifically for me. I don't know how I'm going to pay for college, or if I'll even be able to qualify for student loans (complicated stuff, I tell you), but I know that God will provide me with everything I need to follow His path for my life. I'm also hoping to return to Mexico for six weeks this June, but I have to rely on God to provide me with the funds to do that as well.
I don't know where God's going to bring me after that, but I trust Him fully. I know that He knows what He's doing. I just have to follow the right path, the one He's laid out for me.
